I hate cookbooks…
Cookbooks read like instruction manuals and are intimidating, boring, or both. Before committing to this book, I had never written a recipe down. I preferred to dig through the back of the fridge, clean out the pantry, and see what I could create with whatever was on-hand and whatever crazy ideas manifested in my head. My level of income and lack of any quality cooking equipment did not damper the enjoyment that came from “winging it”. From being creative. From making something delicious out of scraps and leftovers.
The last few years have seen a movement toward gluten free, organic, and “super” foods like kale, acai, and blended wheat grass. Admirable. Not knocking progress but I’m a football watching, gun shooting, mid-western, badass. I love bacon, butter, red meat, BBQ, and grain alcohol. This is not a book for the faint of heart or easily offended. This is an old-school, grandma’s lard recipes, cook with beer, as you drink beer, cookbook. Don’t worry about counting calories, arterial plaque, or being politically correct. Food is culture. Food is history. Food is fun.
“This is an old-school, grandma’s lard recipes, cook with beer, as you drink beer, cookbook. Don’t worry about counting calories, arterial plaque, or being politically correct. Food is culture. Food is history. Food is fun.”
Lies
I’ve never really used cookbooks. I found them filled with lies. ‘Prep Time’, ‘Cook Time’ and the list of ‘Ingredients’ – all lies. The Prep Time listed on many recipes are beyond human ability: “Peel 100 potatoes. 2 minutes.” “Dice 2 onions, 3 stalks of celery, and 4 carrots. 1 minute.” It’s the same for Cook Times. They rarely take into account the thickness of the meat or the level of heat being applied: “Grill the steak for exactly 213 seconds per side”. If I’d follow this direction with my King Cut Porterhouse then the inside would be so raw that my steak would “moo” when I cut into it. Or when a recipe tries to navigate around this by providing a range of cook-times: “Bake the salmon for 5-20 minutes”. Far from helpful. Lastly, some of the ingredients listed on recipes require such an excessive investment of time when a can or jar of pre-made product would work just as well and without the hassle that accompanies words like “authentic” or “homemade”.
Prep Times
There are no estimated ‘Prep Times’ in this book. Prep takes as long as it takes. And it shouldn’t be a chore – prep is my Zen. I enjoy the repetition of julienne, the focus it takes to filet, and the de-stressing chop, chop, chop of dicing an onion and crying over my cutting board. It’s a great way to transition from Work to Home. It’s also a great way to get your dinner guests or family involved. Make Prep a group activity and give everyone a specific task. Kids make great Line Chefs.
Cook Times
What’s the difference between Medium Heat and High Heat on a gas stovetop? Or an electric stovetop? Or a propane grill? These variances are going to impact cooking times. How do you know how long to cook for? – You don’t. You approximate, experiment, and then make adjustments the next time you work the dish up. So consider these recipes as “general guidelines” and not “definitive instructions”.
Ingredients
I love cooking. And I love cooking from scratch as much as possible. But I also have a mortgage and bills. So there’s this thing I do every week called “Go To Work”. For those of you that have heard of this, you know that it pretty much sucks. So after a long day of playing “Go To Work”, when I come home, I rarely have the time to invest 3-4 hours simmering 20+ ingredients into a proper Sicilian Gravy. As much as possible, I have included multiple shortcuts for the recipes that follow. If a jar of pasta sauce, pre-diced veggies, or spice mixes & sauce packets can be substituted to make your life easier, then that’s just more time you have to enjoy the meal, your family, or knocking down the movies you have saved in your streaming-queue.
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